Black Talons vs WarDogs

Match Report:

-by numerous fat women in g-strings        Post-Game Commentary: 

Pre-game (As told by Endor) 

So there I was. Sittin in my DS minding my own business when it hit me. I’m playin for the wrong team. So I say bye to BT and start off to my new home in the WD DS. I have defected. Upon arriving at the WD DS, I announced myself and my intentions. And in true WD fashion, I lined up and awaited the beginning of the game. But all was not as it seemed. I was double crossed! Jeffro slowly turned towards me and then when the moment was right, he fired a 40mm grenade right at my head! Luckily I stepped back in time and made it to the safety of the DS. But it wasn’t over yet. No one gets to shoot at me freely. So I skirted the edges of the safety zone as I ran North. Right before hitting the wall I stepped out and let lose a hand grenade. Off the wall it bounced, right into the WD line. The dog that my nade ran over wasn’t quick enough and was blown into little pieces. I turned around and ran south. Once again my hand nade bounced off the wall and careened right into the wide of another helpless puppy. But before I could run out and suicide in an attempt to smack one more WD down, the refs finally woke up and restarted the game. All the killing and none of the deaths. VICTORY.

Game 1:

Titan Marines-Black Talons

Collective Militia-WarDogs

At the beginning BT went north and WD went south. WD went directly to H5 and BT rushed to mid, grabbing F2 and skipping H1 on the way. BT held mid and spotted WD just south. As soon as WD saw them inside, 6 players flanked immediately around the west side of mid. Jeffro147 and Johnny Schrapnel stayed behind and contained BT inside southmid with 40mm’s. BT attempted to fight off the incoming WD flank, but was overwhelmed by their different angles and pushed inside. Eventually, WD was too much for the anti-flankers and made their way inside. As soon as they did, Jeffro and Johnny moved into southmid. A raging battle took place and each side had 3 survivors, all of which retreated. WD regrouped at H1 somewhat sloppily and ran to F2 in a rush to kill off the respawned BT’s. They fight the regrouping Talons and Jeffro is killed by surprisingly focused fire from above F2. BT then continued pressing them into H1 trees and raped the vast remainder of Dogs. BT saw this as an opportunity to flag and went directly to J4. Then, they caught a lone WD flagger on radar flagging southmid. BT sprinted to block him in and proceeded to rape iii, the desperate flagger. But, during this rape WD wasn’t sleeping. They had already made it to the entrance of southmid by the time iii died and engaged a furious battle. At this point, KillbyBomb(medic), was sniped for the 3rd time and eliminated. BT then had a lagout and a poisoned can of coke was put in. The victors of this mid battle were WD. BT regrouped outside F2 thereafter, and contact was once again made in the H1 area. Jeffro was caught in the open once again, and killed once again by focused fire for the elimination. WD responded by knocking out the subbed-in poisoned can of coke. BT retreated and regrouped in mid, while WD waited south of mid. BT got sneaky and sent 6 of their people far west to F3 in trees and opened fire with ripper rounds and AR to suppress the patient WD. WD quickly respond, not by firing back, but by taking advantage of the extra men and pushing into mid. Only 2 BT met them in there, Faerun and Trimax, both of which were raped hideously. The rest of BT tried to come to the rescue but got to southmid too late. They chose not to fight the WD inside mid and ran to J4 instead for regroup. WD left mid through north exit at that point and faced J4 via H1 trees. BT caught them and fired a few ripper rounds at them to remind WD that they had been spotted. WD then decided they wouldn’t attack J4 and held H1 trees, watching all sides. WD then noticed BT as they ran south and into southmid. Here, the final showdown took place in mid. WD ran into northmid and mase the mistake of rushing BT’s defensive position. Genuine Virtue, Johnny Schrapnel, and kc~ were knocked out of the game immediately. III didn’t take too much longer to be eliminated. While holy was running back to the field, he was raped by BT who had ran to F2 and held in ambush. The only remaining WD at this point were xTreamMeasure and iii. Xtream eliminated the BT sniper Lothlorien and was killed by Faerun shortly afterwards. III worked some of his own magic when he eliminated Endormoon in H1. But, he doesn’t last long either, as BT have pinpointed his position and ran him over. BT takes the game for the win by elimination.

MVP: Lothlorien

BT: 23 kills-15 deaths

Game 2:

Titan Marines-Wardogs

Collective Militia-Black Talons

BT had some troubles at start when Intrude was subbed in with 1 life after Lak420 lagged out. BT ran to J4 at start and WD rushed south, holding outside H5 on west side. WD waited a minute and skipped H5, heading to mid, and then moved north. Half of BT held below mid while the rest made a wide west flank around F2 area. The initial contact was made when half of BT occupied either side of the large elevation below F2, trying to hold their own against the furious WD. The first death was Faerun’s at the hands of holy. WD seemed to start getting the upper hand, and pushed BT south. Alas, they were too much for BT and WD prevailed in the first battle with focused ripper and AR fire. WD went to H5 afterwards and held while BT regrouped at J4. As soon as some BT started heading south in the direction of WD, the Dogs got impatient for once and ran out with guns blazing. The subbed-in Intrude was knocked out of the game, following Faerun’s 2nd death by iii. BT then found themselves stuck holding the east side of J4 outside, while WD tried to close in on them from both sides. While BT was distracted, WD managed to flag every objective and had a victory in 20 seconds. Even so, BT held their east side of J4 well, with soldiers like (nader) Kmaster holding the top side and 2 marines holding the bottom half. BT could not rush into J4 in time, and WD took the game for the flag win.

MVP: Johnny Schrapnel

WD: 9 kills-2 deaths

Game 3:

Titan Marines-Black Talons

Collective Militia-Wardogs

BT started this one out by flagging the usual north F2 pattern. WD rushed H5 at start like in Game 1. Both squads then met at mid at the same time for the initial contact. There was firing going on both inside and outside. After WD killed devildog and Kmaster, half flanked around the west side of mid to surround BT. But, some BT caught them by surprise from behind and an insane amount of killing took place on both sides. After the dust cleared, WD came out on top and regrouped at H1 trees. BT, who had just regrouped, caught a Dog with his leg sticking out of a tree and opened fire. WD then had lag problems and killer was subbed in with 1 life. WD decided it was too dangerous and pulled back out of H1 trees with BT pursuing. But, as soon as WD’s meds regrouped, they had the confidence to take to the trees again. A few people were killed in this charge on both sides, including Faerun and XtreamMeasure. Devildog was then eliminated, followed by Hellraiser(BT). With more men than their feathered foes, WD proceeded to overrun the remaining BT in H1 trees, winning the last battle. They quickly flagged the remaining objectives before BT had a chance to recover. At victory for WD in 20 seconds, Faerun was eliminated and BT fell short. WD took the game for the flag win.

MVP: holy hand grenade of Antioch